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Jan Brewer Attempts to One-Up the Entire Republican Party

The governor of Arizona has signed into law The “Women’s Health and Safety Act”, which defines pregnancy as beginning two weeks before conception.

That’s right, kids: rather than stopping at a mere outlawing of abortion during all trimesters of pregnancy like those pansies at the RNC, Jan Brewer is paving the way for preventing women from aborting the babies of men they haven’t even had sex with yet.

I don’t think Jan Brewer realizes the dangerous ground she’s treading on here. You know what I’m talking about: paradoxes. What if a woman gets an abortion before she has sex—you know, as a precautionary measure—but then doesn’t hook up with the guy after all? Can the baby be said to be both aborted and not aborted at the same time?

You can’t be too careful with Schrödinger, is all I’m saying.